The future

Those two words above have produced a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes and worry in my soul the past few days.

I have been a Christian since I was thirteen years old. I have grown up in the church but that doesn't mean that I haven't doubted things.

Back in the fall, I had a serious time of doubting my faith and I am at a more stable place now. But I am seriously struggling with one thing: God's plan.

I am going to graduate college in about three months and I am freaking out. I know that God has a plan but sometimes that is very hard for me to hold on. I was looking at jobs the other night and I started crying. I don't know how I am going to be able to leave all of my amazing friends and especially my amazing professor, Dr. Lindholm that I have talked about before.

A quick side note, I don't know where I would be without Dr. Lindholm. She has been there for me since day one and I am so going to miss our conversations, prayer times and discussions about everything from Jesus to Sex. You know that you have found someone super valuable when they are willing to have open conversations about sex. I truly look up to her and I am so very thankful that she is in my life.

Anyway, I know that God has a plan for my life but sometimes the future is scary and unknown. I wish that God would write my answer in the sky. On days like today and the past few days, I cry, pray and repeat.


I will wipe my tears and smile because I know that I am in his hands.