Does it bother me that I have a disability?

Does it bother me that I have a disability?

The above question was posed to me earlier today when I received an email from my e-buddy. I have been emailing back and forth with a young woman who also has a disability. She and I have been emailing back and forth for almost 2 years. It has been fun and its a joy to hear from her and correspond with her. Her question today struck me. "Does it bother you that you have a disability?" I had to stop and think.

Did it really bother me? Yes there are some days it plain sucks because I cannot do simple things like run down the block but that also may be in part to the fact that I am not in shape, but whatever. anyway, yes some days it bothers me and I wish that I was different. I have also been told that I dont look disabled or that I don't have a disability. I guess I should take this as a compliment that people see me as "normal." I put that in quotes because I don't believe that anyone is normal. Anyway, so yes sometimes it sucks but then there are other days that I think about how blessed I am. I am blessed to have met the people that I have met. I am blessed to have the friendships with people that I have. I have had so many experiences that I would not have had if I did not have a disability.

For example, I would have never been able to go to family retreat which is a 5 day camp in the summer for families with disabilities that is a week of relaxation and refreshment. The camp is put on by Joni and Friends which is a Christian organization that brings hope and the gospel to those with and without disabilities but it primarily targets those with disabilities. I always have loved this camp and the time with my family. I haven't gone in a few years but I always love hearing about other people's experiences when they come back.

And so yes to answer my friend's question, it does bother me sometimes. But thats very rare. I count my disability as a gift and a blessing and its something that doesn't define but is just part of me.

This is a poem that I wrote back in September but it expresses my heart so well on this issue that I want to share it again. From September 25, 2012:

I want to speak up

for those who can't talk

can't walk

can't see

can't interact

there were so many can'ts in that sentence

why not focus on what a person CAN do?

I am sick of this society

pushing us aside

like we don't matter

we do matter

we do have a voice

we were created in the image of God

we are loved and cherished 

we have a life

God has a plan for our lives

we were placed on this earth for a reason

I have a disability

it is part of my life

and something I will fight for

until there is change

till we are recognized 

not just in this country

but around the world

We just want to be loved

have friends

and treated like a normal person

Please look beyond our inabilities

and look at our abilities

look at our hearts

look at what we have

not what we don't have

Just because I have a DISability

doesn't mean that I don't have other amazing abilities

that God has blessed me with 

I have a voice

and I will use it for the voiceless